I'm just really happy. That is all. :)

Life is good.

I love you Lynchburg College.

I love my friends here.

I love having my car here.

Although the heater broke, it makes me so grateful for when I do have heat and am not cold.

I love my classes so far.

I love going to dinner at La Ca and laughing with Arturro.

I love going to lunch with lots of people.

I love still have Jersey Shore watching parties.

I love my room.

I love my huge bin of food.

I love my schedule of glory.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is I love life. Reflect on your life and try to recognize all the good things that are happening in your life, and don't dwell on the bad. We don't do this enough. Look at life and be so thankful for what you have. God gave you this life for you to live it and love it. :)

oh hey LC.

So I am officially back at Lynchburg College. I missed this place so much. Well...not necessarily the place, just the people and everything that comes along with college. I got to drive my car back here, which I will have for a month and I am quite excited! I took a scenic ride back here with Emily which was fun. I then started to unpack all my stuff. Holy cow. I also forgot to take the cheese out of my fridge...it smells horrible, like gagging horrible. Tomorrow will be the day I go and get baking powder to put in that thang. As I was unpacking I got to see quite a lot of my friends and received huge hugs that make me smile. :) Also, Mary and I have reunited and I love it. While we were unpacking our stuff, our heater/air conditioner died...RIP poor Bradley. We named him Bradley because he would talk to us. Haha. So now we are without heat or air. Work order tomorrow. Fail. But later me, Mary and Taylor went to dinner at Subway and got some groceries at Kroger (because I have a car now and can take leisurely trips like these. Woop!) This was quite fun. I really did miss this place. I missed the people, this room, the independence, structure, the events, and so much more. I did not miss having to walk down the hall and use a community bathroom, or the food from the caf. Tomorrow I will eat from there again. Yay...not! But, I will like going to lunch/dinner with my friendsies constantly! Oh I love being home...I mean back here. So weird to call it home! But, I do miss my friends from RVA! Dawww!

This is just me thinking aloud. I want to loose weight. But this time, I want to do it for me. No one else but myself. I want to feel healthier and better about myself. I do NOT want to be skinny...nor will I ever be. Shoot, I got some curves going on for that, which I happen not to mind...nor have I hear any complaints. Bahahaha. I want to be able to look in the mirror and just be comfortable. My goal is not to lose a number. My goal is to look at myself and just be happy with what I am. I want to be able to wear skinny jeans without having to wear a longer shirt to cover up my thunder thighs. I also want to be able to wear a form fitting dress or t-shirt. And yes, I am going to have the Beyonce look when that happens...by her curves I mean....if you get what I'm saying. Sorry, everything about those curves are rather large. Always will be. Hahahahahaha. I'm not complaining. It's little things like that that make me want to lose weight. Not a number, just a happy level...for me, and me only. I just want to be HEALTHY. Please do not read this and think that I am unhappy, or have an eating disorder. First, I am happy, I just would like to lose some weight to be healthier. Second, I could never have an eating disorder...a.) I like food too much...I ENJOY food. b.) I have a phobia of barf. Haha. And for any girls reading this, if anyone has ever made you feel fat, please tell them to shove it. If you are happy with you, work it! And don't tell yourself you need to lose weight because of other people you see. Everyone's different. Never, ever, let anyone else be the reason you want to change. Do something for your own self for once...it makes things a whole lot more fun. :)

momma.

My mom is my biggest supporter, my biggest fan, and will always be there for me not matter what stupid stuff I do. She makes me laugh, which is probably where I get all these giggles from. She is the biggest prankster ever, which has also been passed along to me. My mom is also the strongest person I have ever met. Throughout the past year she has taken on so many challenges. Yet, she does not think about herself first, ever. She constantly is trying to make sure everyone around her is okay before herself. She is the most amazing person. We may argue now and again, but who doesn't? My mom is someone I can confide in, and she doesn't judge me. She also always tells me that she does not have a clue how she got me...she says she is one of the most conservative people ever and I'm some "tree hugger." Even when I was younger and in Kindergarten, the one thing I wanted in life was "to make the world and cleaner and safer place." Still, she loves me despite our differences. She continues to make me happy every day of my life. I am so grateful for everything she has done for me, given up for me, and continues to do for me. She is my rock. Without her I would be lost. I also wouldn't be the Christian I am today if she did not make me go to youth group, because I hated it with a passion my first few times. I owe her the thanks for the woman I have become, and still become today. I love you mom.

love.

I love my amazing mom. She is one of the strongest people I know, and she will be there for me no matter what. The one person I can always count on. She makes me laugh, and I love her so much. I love my family. They can be a little bothersome sometimes, but they genuinely care about me. I love my friends. Goodness, I honestly don't know what I would do without them. They keep me sane, are there for me through rough times, and constantly make me laugh. Not to mention they keep me from being bored in my life. I love our random hangouts, and all the crazy stuff we do together. I love Kim. She's been my best friend for eighteen years, and I know that we will be until the day we die. We've always been there for each other through everything, and we've mainly done everything together. She's my other half. God help whoever my husband is, because he's basically going to marry her too...like I would let her sleep in our bed every night if she wanted. Hahaha. I love when my things are clean and organized because I feel like I can get more stuff done. I love my car because I love the freedom I have, being able to go anywhere I want. I love Lynchburg College. I have made so many fantastic friends there, and I really do miss being there. I love how small it is, and how we have so many events going on all the time. I love being able to see gorgeous sunsets, and the snow fall outside. I just love life.

the future.

It is so weird planning out things that are going to happen in my life. I was talking to my friend Rachel about it tonight. I am so not used to it. I'm such a go with the flow kind of person, and I'm not used to having to plan out my life. I'm already planning out what I should do this summer...trying to be a camp counselor at Jack and Jill preschool for my job, summer school classes to get some Gen Eds out of the way, and volunteering at MCV for physical therapy to give me some experience and to hopefully help me get into MCV in three and a half years. Even that is weird to me...planning on doing something this summer to help me do something in three and a half years. It's really quite odd. And I'm trying to plan out all this stuff for next semester...well at least thinking about what I want to do and what not. Sororities, whether to be a connection leader or a bonner, lcf leader, possible campus job, and different clubs. It's going to be a busy semester! Yet, it's going to be fun at the same time! It makes me really excited to go back to school. And I can't want to see everyone! It's going to be sad leaving RVA, but exciting to go back at the same time!

worship.

Tonight at 1822 was a worship night. I absolutely love it. It was so nice to be back in that room where I've spent countless hours of my teenage years. I felt at home, and I was comfortable. I like how its so dark in there. I feel like it's just me and God. I love how it's so loud, I can finally hear myself think and listen for God. I love how there are so many people worshipping Him. I love how on fire for God I am right now. This worship session could not have come at a better time. I needed this. This is how I connect with God to the fullest, during worship. Tonight made me happy and I really enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I am eternally grateful for how good my Father is, even though I am really not worthy. I really have to give every single thing in my life to Him for all the be right in my life. This is not an easy task to do, but I've realized I must do it. So, I am working on it. Tonight has made me think, and it has made me worship like I've needed to worship for awhile. For this, I am grateful.

prayer.

I have to tell you, I am not one to complain about how much money my family does or does not have. But, this has been a whirl wind of change in the last year or so. And it's not easy for my mom to be a single parent. It seems like nothing can go right...my car needed to be fixed, the dishwasher just broke, and I found out tonight that my bottom retainer snapped (yes I still wear a retainer.) And on top of all that I'm in college, which requires a LOT of money. It's just not easy for me, and I feel helpless. I honestly don't want to tell my mom about my retainer, and in all honesty I don't know if I will. I can't stand the fact that my mom probably feels like the world is on her shoulders because it sure is not easy to run a household on one budget. I just don't know what to do and all I really want to do is cry. I wish that things in life came easy...not for me, but for my mom. She's doing the best she can and I can not thank her enough for all she does. But, I'd be lying if I knew this was not a struggle at times. I just ask that you would pray for my mom and pray that everything will get worked out. There is honestly nothing else I can do. So my friends, this is what I ask of you. Please.

new year!

Well, it's 2011 people! I had a great New Year's with lots of people I love, and also a fabulous New Year's Day! I'm excited for this year. I hope it will be even better than 2010 and filled with crazy new adventures. I really just have one resolution, but it's not really a "new year" resolution, it's just kind of a life resolution. I mean, I started it before 2011 so I figure it isn't really a new year resolution. Haha. I want to be more in shape. Like seriously. I've tried to do it too many times before and it just kind of goes off the deep end. I really honestly want to stick to it. I'm just going to try to eat better and not so much, and also work out. Now don't get me wrong, I do NOT want to be skinny...skinny is gross. Sorry. I've definitely got all the right curves in all the right places, if you know what I mean...and I'd like to keep them. Hahahaha. But I just want to be healthy and little! So, if you see me eating fast food or something, remind me not to do that! Haha. But for 2011 I just want it to be crazy fun with my friends! I want to take even more pictures, and get better at it. I want to impact people's lives. I want to become closer to some people. I want to be carefree. I want to live. Now, these aren't resolutions, just things I'd like to see in 2011. :)

looking back.

As I reflect back on 2010, I cannot even believe everything that has happened. Many memories flood my mind, and I realize how much I've changed as well. I graduated high school in 2010, which was pretty crazy. I got one of the main roles acting in the youth show, which I had so much fun with, and I absolutely loved the message of the show, and the fact that I could relate. Then taking that show on tour was just so exciting to me. We had a really fun beach week for the most part, and stayed up way too late. I got to go to Brazil yet again, and I felt at peace and just so happy. I am so blessed to get that opportunity to go twice and impact so many lives. I had the best/most fun summers of my life, and got to spend it with the best people in the world. I started college, which was insane. I am completely my own person and have all the independence in the world. I've made some of the best friends and I absolutely love it there. It is like two different worlds when I come home and when I'm there. I am so thankful that I love them both. I also look back at realize that I am such a different person than I was when I started the year. I am so much stronger than I ever would have even imagined. God has put me through some of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with in my life, but I look back at it now and realize just how strong I am. Also, I feel like I've become more compassionate towards others, or at least I try to. Once college started, I've tried my hardest to not judge others and love and accept them just the way they are. I love college because it really does give you every opportunity to be whoever you want to be. This year has been one of the greatest years of my life, but at the same time it's been one of the hardest. God has shown me that I have to be thankful and happy with the good things in my life, and not reflect so much on the bad. I hope to continue to do this in 2011. 2011, I hope you're more than I could imagine! :)

happy girl.

Oh today was so pleasant. Well, my friends, I finally have a Canon Rebel! I got a lot of money and gift cards for presents for Christmas, so I decided I was finally going to get this camera...I've wanted it for four years but it always made me sick to my stomach to even think about spending hundreds of dollars on it. But, I finally did it...and I cannot be happier! I LOVE this thing! I've been playing around with it all day! I am also really, really blessed to be able to have it and be able to afford it. Tonight was fabulous because I got to hang out with my best friend, Kim. We watched He's Just Not That in to You, which was really good. Then we basically talked forever and everything under the sun and ate some yummy food. I miss hanging out and doing nothing but having long, good talks. But, it makes me even more thankful for them when they do happen! I just love her! :)

I just finished watching Letters to Juliet and I love movies like this and hate them at the same time. I love them because I am a helpless romantic...in all seriousness. I know I don't seem like one ever, because I never share that. But I imagine everything under the sun. And I believe in fairytales, whether I should or not. I hate them because I can't help but wonder where is that guy. Now I'm not trying to sound dramatic like I have to have one in my life or I'm going to die or anything, because it's not like that. I just wonder when I watch these movies where is he. I wish life was like the movies and I would magically have a guy and we fall in love and live happily ever after. But this is not my life. I was telling someone this the other night, and it is my greatest fear. I am afraid that I am never going to get married...it literally terrifies me. No, I'm not afraid of getting shot or killed or drowning or anything like that. Just that I will be alone. If you're reading this I am not looking for pity or for you to tell me that there are guys that like me and so on, because it is not that at all. I am simply expressing my greatest fear, and I am not fishing for compliments. It just scares me. I'm afraid that I won't find anyone or no one will want to marry me. I know this may sound silly, but that honestly is my one greatest fear. And these movies make me wish for something that I'm afraid will never be...

christmas eve!

Oh goodness, it's Christmas Eve! How lovely! I spent the night last night at my grandparent's house and we celebrated Christmas today with them and my mom's side of the family. We opened gifts, and I got a lot of gift cards and some money! No longer a broke college kid...that is unless I buy something that I've wanted for years now...a Canon Rebel camera! They are SO expensive though. I've wanted one for soooo long and I would love to take millions of pictures and become a better photographer. But, I will be broke once again. So, do I buy this camera and be really really broke, or do I keep all this money and make life a little bit easier on me when I go back to school?! This, I do not know. I just got really sidetracked. Oh well. It was nice to be with the family and enjoy some time together. My mom and I are back at home now though. Elsbeth came over to get her gift, and so that she could give me mine. The little owl is presh! :) I was supposed to go meet Chandler so he could give me his present to me, but my mom wouldn't let me out. So, instead he sent me a picture of it. It's a photoshopped picture of me, him, and Jesse from Brazil and I love it! I love pictures in general. Now I believe I am going to watch Charlie St. Cloud and stay quarnentined in my room because Santa is tired and wants to go to sleep, and I'm not allowed out. Tehehe. Merry Christmas Eve lovelies! :D

break!

Wow. So it's officially winter break for me! I don't think I've really wrapped my mind around the fact that I'm going to be home for an entire month. It's kind of crazy...I love it...yet, I already miss LC. Hmph. No matter where I am, I'm always missing people. GRRR! But today was a good last day at school. I packed for an entire month (in which I brought wayyy too much stuff...Taylor tried making me pick between stuff because he said I didn't need it all...but I still ended up taking way too much. Haha.) Then me, Taylor, and Mary went to lunch and shopping at the bookstore. I then departed to come back home. I just hung out for a while when I was home...I missed being at home. Then me, Josh, Julie, and Destry went to Bottoms Up (delish!!) for dinner. Afterwards, we ran around downtown to get to our cars because it was so freezing and then went to Julie's and played lots of water pong. I missed downtown RVA so much...it felt so nice to be back downtown again. Now, this whole thing with this massive amounts of snow...so NOT feeling it. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love snow, but I HATE being snowed in...like if the roads were clear I'd be a happy girl. Look, RVA, I did not come all the way home to be stuck in my house for days on end without seeing my friends or anyone...I would've stayed at LC if that was the case because then I would be snowed in with all my friends. So, I would appreciate if you would keep your snow to yourself because I love my friends and I want to drive around and see them. Thank you. :)

FREE!!!

I AM FREE!!! NO MORE EXAMS! NO MORE STUDYING! IT'S OFFICIALLY CHRISTMAS BREAK!!! Now that I got that out of my system...oh wait. IT'S NOT GONE. I'M SO HAPPY. FINALS, YOU CAN KISS MY ARSE! :) But...besides that. I shall depart from Lynchburg tomorrow around 1. Which means, for all of you that are home. If you would like to grace me with your shining face tomorrow at some point please text me. :) Also, I am excited to come home, but super sad at the same time. I hate that. I honestly love it here. And I see these people every single day for HOURS...like HOURS. I feel like I've known some of my friends here for years because we spend so much time together. And I love my room and that it's the party room and everyone comes over all the freaking time. Oh, and did I mention I freaking love my independence. Why can't everything be in one place? Please? Friends, all live by me...not in different states and hours away. Humph. But still stoked to come home because of my fabulous friends and momma, my bed, having a bathroom to myself, my car, and doing all the crazy things we do together. EEP! :D

life.

Isn't it funny how life always has it's way of working out? I was really stressing out last night about my class schedule because I am now MAJORING in Biology! Pretty glad I've finally picked something! I then plan on going and getting my Doctorate in Physical Therapy...watch out....you'll have to call me Dr. Straw! Haha. But my advisor kept canceling on me, so classes were getting filled up and such. So I took matters into my own hands and made my own schedule that had all requirements of my major...a lot of Gen Eds as well. Haha. I figured it out all on my own, and it was pretty stressful. But hey, people here don't call me sassy for nothin! Haha. Anyways, I tweeted last night how I just wanted to cry because I was so stressed. And I had four friends immediately talk to me about it that night. This, my friends, is love. Even though we are miles away, my good ole friends still got my back and care about me. I'd like to thank you for that, because without yall, I don't know what I would do. Also, I finally decided to just give it up to God, and I was a lot less stressed. And of course everything started to flow together so easily. I wish I would've done it sooner, because in all honesty it's the only thing that works. Now that I've done that, I've got crazy exams coming! Eep! Also, please take in my SCHEDULE OF GLORY...and yes, you are allowed to be jealous. ;)

goodness.

College workload, you are kicking my butt right now. In all honesty, you can suck it. On a happier note, I've been able to skype my friends the past few days and have great conversations! :)

back.

So today was the first official full day back here at Lynchburg College. And can I just say I missed it here and all my friends here a lot. I embraced everyone with a hug when I saw them. It was if everyone hadn't seen each other in a month or something. I think it's because I basically live with most of these people, and I see them 24/7. So to go from that to not seeing them for a week, you really do notice. My heart is always torn when I leave here or leave home. I'm sad to leave all my friends back home because I love them so much, but I'm happy to see all my friends here because I love them as well, and vice versa for the other situation. But, I am happy that I love both places so much. I miss all my friendsies from back home though! Today was a great day. Pretty laid back in my classes. Tonight was La Ca night, which is always fun, and all the waiters love us and talk to us in Spanish and joke around with us. Then we went to Target to get some essentials and some Christmas decorations. Can I just say that I absolutely love my new room because: new roommate, so much more space, it's not crammed, it's cute, we have a tv and a wii, and christmas lights. Basically our room is the party room and people are over all the time. I love it! :) This is my new room! :)

friendsies.

I have the best friends in the world. I just love my friends and am so glad they are all in my life.I love that I can come home from college and it's like nothing has changed. We still hangout and act the same as we always did. The distance and time apart hasn't affected our friendship at all, which I am so thankful for. I like being able to catch up on each other's lives. I like being the person to just sit there and listen to all of your struggle and things you're going through in your life and just being there for you. I also like how I become closer to people. I love all the crazy things we do together. And I love coming home and going to the party at David's and people and dancing and hanging out. I love the deep conversations I have with certain people. I love feeling loved. I love staying out into the wee hours of the morning hanging out. And I love how loud we are because we just have so much to talk about and cramming a ton of people in my house. I am so blessed to have all my friends in my life. :)