rva.

I honestly LOVE Richmond. I love downtown. I love Carytown. I love hipsters. I love tatted up people. I don't care if we have the third highest rate of murder, or whatever we're ranked now. I love that downtown at most restaurants vegan options are the norm, even though I'm not anywhere near a vegan. I love the hardcore kids...being hardcore...cause they don't scare me one bit. I love the lights from the city. I love how there's SO many places that have shows. I love that WEAG is in Richmond. I love the gages in people's ears. I love how Richmond seems "dirty" to some people who aren't from here. I love that there's a college smack dab in the middle of the city. I love that Richmond now proudly has Cookout. I love that one of the main things to do in the summer is go swimming at the river. I love that Richmond has so many bikers. I love that there's so much to do. I just love RVA in general. 804 til the day I die.

I want to be powerful. I'm not afraid of many things. To the emptiness that comes with the dark, I take it in. To the dangerous things in life, I say bring it on. To the difficult things that are thrown at me in life, I can power through it. Trying to rely on other people to do things for me, I say I am an independent woman. I can do things I set my mind to. I don't need anyone to help me do the simple things. Don't get me wrong, I love support, but I don't need people to do things for me. I don't mind being different. I believe happiness doesn't come from people around you, but rather from within. I want to do the opposite of what you tell me to do. I strive to change the standard view of what I should be. No, I refuse to believe that I can't achieve something because of what people believe can't be done. I am STRONG.

terrified.

I'm scared for the future. It's the unknown. I can't be in control. What happens, happens. Whatever life throws at you, you take it, learn from it, and deal with it. That is a scary thing. There are so many things I wish I could take control of and fix myself. In my life, in other people's lives. But, this is not the case. At this point it's time for me to let go. God's got to take over. Every time I give it up to Him, it works out just the way He wants it to...which in the end is exactly what is right for me in my life. I'm scared for things that will affect the rest of my life. Like should I really be trying to be a physical therapist? Or am I supposed to go to Brasil again? I'm scared that we're secretly going bankrupt because my mom is supporting me and her by herself, and there's thousands upon thousands of dollars to go to college. I'm scared of who's going to walk me down the aisle, because at the moment it would not be my dad. Heck, I'm scared I'm not even going to get married. I'm terrified my grandpa's going to die before I get to see him and tell him how much I love him. I'm scared about this reckless driving ticket, and that we're going to spend all this money on a lawyer, and still end up with a reckless driving ticket. All of these things have unknown factors. I don't know how it's going to end up, and I can't try to determine or fix it. This is when it's time to take a deep breathe, and give it to God. Lean on Him no matter what. He has shown me that he has blessed me with so much, how can I worry about the future? And I've been blessed with the best friends that are with me every step of the way, holding me up. He will continue to provide for me. Trust. That is one of the hardest things to do, but I know if I do everything will work out just the way it is supposed to.