change!

So, at the moment I'm trying out tumblr just because. Doesn't mean I won't ever come back or post on this again...but just in case you're wondering where I've gone: http://kstrizzy.tumblr.com/ And...you can still follow me with on tumblr on here! The world is good! :)

rva.

I honestly LOVE Richmond. I love downtown. I love Carytown. I love hipsters. I love tatted up people. I don't care if we have the third highest rate of murder, or whatever we're ranked now. I love that downtown at most restaurants vegan options are the norm, even though I'm not anywhere near a vegan. I love the hardcore kids...being hardcore...cause they don't scare me one bit. I love the lights from the city. I love how there's SO many places that have shows. I love that WEAG is in Richmond. I love the gages in people's ears. I love how Richmond seems "dirty" to some people who aren't from here. I love that there's a college smack dab in the middle of the city. I love that Richmond now proudly has Cookout. I love that one of the main things to do in the summer is go swimming at the river. I love that Richmond has so many bikers. I love that there's so much to do. I just love RVA in general. 804 til the day I die.

I want to be powerful. I'm not afraid of many things. To the emptiness that comes with the dark, I take it in. To the dangerous things in life, I say bring it on. To the difficult things that are thrown at me in life, I can power through it. Trying to rely on other people to do things for me, I say I am an independent woman. I can do things I set my mind to. I don't need anyone to help me do the simple things. Don't get me wrong, I love support, but I don't need people to do things for me. I don't mind being different. I believe happiness doesn't come from people around you, but rather from within. I want to do the opposite of what you tell me to do. I strive to change the standard view of what I should be. No, I refuse to believe that I can't achieve something because of what people believe can't be done. I am STRONG.

terrified.

I'm scared for the future. It's the unknown. I can't be in control. What happens, happens. Whatever life throws at you, you take it, learn from it, and deal with it. That is a scary thing. There are so many things I wish I could take control of and fix myself. In my life, in other people's lives. But, this is not the case. At this point it's time for me to let go. God's got to take over. Every time I give it up to Him, it works out just the way He wants it to...which in the end is exactly what is right for me in my life. I'm scared for things that will affect the rest of my life. Like should I really be trying to be a physical therapist? Or am I supposed to go to Brasil again? I'm scared that we're secretly going bankrupt because my mom is supporting me and her by herself, and there's thousands upon thousands of dollars to go to college. I'm scared of who's going to walk me down the aisle, because at the moment it would not be my dad. Heck, I'm scared I'm not even going to get married. I'm terrified my grandpa's going to die before I get to see him and tell him how much I love him. I'm scared about this reckless driving ticket, and that we're going to spend all this money on a lawyer, and still end up with a reckless driving ticket. All of these things have unknown factors. I don't know how it's going to end up, and I can't try to determine or fix it. This is when it's time to take a deep breathe, and give it to God. Lean on Him no matter what. He has shown me that he has blessed me with so much, how can I worry about the future? And I've been blessed with the best friends that are with me every step of the way, holding me up. He will continue to provide for me. Trust. That is one of the hardest things to do, but I know if I do everything will work out just the way it is supposed to.

I can't wait for summer. I need a break from here...from some people. While others I hate the thought of leaving. I need a break from everything being so hectic. I need a break from trying to live up to expectations. I can't wait to be with the people that love me most, and get me. Maybe I'll have summer love...that will last. I'd kind of love that. I'm not looking though. If it's supposed to happen, it will. Too bad I just can't meet my future husband. That'd make life too easy, right?

bonner leader.

So, I found out a few weeks ago that I got accepted into the Bonner Leader Program. This is where I do 900 hours of community service in two years. Well, it's a lot more than that. It's designed to heighten the overall education students and members receive by asking them to engage in ongoing service work and helping them develop the experience, skills, knowledge and values necessary to make that work meaningful and lasting. (That's what the website says. Haha) But tonight was the first meet and greet kind of deal. I am SO EXCITED to start Bonner next year! I can't wait to do community service all the time. I get the opportunity to change the world every single day. This is what I was made for. To give back to people. I can't wait. They showed this video tonight and it's actually really cool! Stoked on life right now. :)

home group.

Tonight in home groups we watched a video and then got to reflect on some things and got to write down stuff and this is what came about for me. Thought I'd share.

God loves me...

through all my pain, my ability to hide everything with a smile, me pushing away anything and becoming numb to it so I don't have to feel anything at all, feeling like I will never be good enough for anyone, through EVERYTHING. He actually LOVES me. I am number one in His book. Never runner-up, second best. He wants me to deal with things, I was not meant to be strong all the time...He is strong FOR me. I am perfect in His eyes. He will always, always, always, be there. He will never leave me, and He always cares. He is the one person who will always be there. No matter what. No matter how many times I screw up. No matter who else is in His life. He loves me. This is an incredible thing, and I cannot describe how good it feels to know this.

busy.

Since coming to college, I am SO busy. Literally. Not just school work. I've started to get pretty involved on campus and made so many friends and planning lunch and dinner dates. I'm so tired. Haha. Don't get me wrong, I really do like being busy and all the things I do I absolutely love, but sometimes I just wish I could take a little break. But. This is college. I love it to death. In recent news, I got accepted into the Bonner Leader Program for next year. Basically it's a 2 year program where you do 900 hours of community service in 2 hours. You get scholarships for it, but with my school you get paid by the hour (like a job where you get the pay check and all) instead of just one big chunk of money taken off of your tuition. Which I am very glad about because my mom is just going to consider that my job so I can keep the money. I'm SO excited to be working within the community for 7-10 hours a week. I'm going to be a big sister in Big Brothers Big Sisters probably, work with the Boys and Girls Club, and do so many other things. Also, all of the Bonners (which is about 30 of us) meet once a week for two hours. We also all have to take a Social Entrepreneurship class in the spring. Basically, it's a really big commitment. I'm stoked about it though! I want it sooooo bad, and I was so nervous because last year supposedly 40 people applied and only 13 got in, so when I heard I got accepted I was honored! I also learned that I am going to be an lcf (Lynchburg Christian Fellowship) leader. I'm really excited for that too! I get to lead a small group, which I'm excited for! I'm just so excited to be a leader, it sounds like so much fun, and I can't wait to challenge other people in their walk as they challenge me as well! I have experienced so many good things through lcf this year, and I can't wait to be a leader to others! This is also a big time commitment. At least 3 days a week. But I'm ready for it. I'm going to be 10x as busier next year than I already am, which kind of really scares me. But I know I'll be able to make it through. So, basically I'm sorry if it seems like I don't care about you! It's not that at all! It's just that I am so, sooo busy here! Like I got done after going all day today at 10:45 and I was excited...BUT PLEASE TEXT ME. I will always be able to text you for the most part! I love you guys soooo much and I miss you and you are my bestest friends ever! :D

PS...Sorry this is so long. And I really do thank you if you read all the way through it....and I'd like to know if you did :)

shh...

No but seriously...I feel like our culture is always so focused on the negative and getting pity from everyone else around them for it. LIFE IS GOOD PEOPLE. God has blessed us with so much! As many things happen that are bad in my day, there are so many more good things that get overlooked because sometimes I can be so focused on the bad. Life happens, bad things happen...but the good is so much more. You know that sunset that happens every single day? That's a blessing. You know those people in your life that make you happy and you love? Those are your friends that you've been blessed with to make it through those bad times. You know those days where you can just lay outside and feel the grass between your toes? That's amazing. It's the little things in life that I feel like I overlook sometimes, as do many other people. This life is what God's blessed you with, and it's yours. If you're unhappy, do something about. Look at all those wonderful little things in your life, I promise they're there. :D

precious.

Life is precious. One day it's there, and the next thing it's gone in the blink of an eye. Love the people around you. Don't take anything in life for granite. Do what you enjoy and love. Take chances that make you scared. Live a life where if you saw it flash before your eyes in a split second, it would be worth watching. Don't forget about your friends and the people that love you. Stuff in life happens that makes me realize just how good my friends really are, and how my world would come to a crashing halt without them. I love you to death. I would be no where without you. You are my strength when I need you. You make me laugh all the time. I could not ask for better friends than the ones I have now. I love ALL of you...my bestest friend in the entire world, Kimbo...you are my sister, and we have SO much stuff together. I love you forever and ever. And every single one of my friends, I love you guys SO, SO much. Praying for all who were close to Patrick Dovell, because I can't imagine losing one of my best friends. I like to remember him from when we were besties when we were little...when life was simple. ♥

oh!

I want to be able to wear all these outfits. These pictures are going up on my wall as inspiration to get fit for summer. This is going to happen...no matter how hard it is.

spring break.

This is like a sigh of relief. No stress of a ton of school work (even though I do still have some over break), not having to worry about what meeting to go to, etc. I am constantly busy at school, so it's kind of weird to not really have to do anything except hang out. It is SO nice to be back with my friends here and do our crazy stuff together. It's effortless. It's never about thinking so hard about what to do, because we have so much fun together no matter what. I love it. I also really, really miss Richmond when I'm away. I feel like so many people say "Ugh...RVA is terrible I just need to get out." But I adore it. When I'm at school, I miss the millions of things you can do here, downtown, everything. It's just nice to be home I guess. I LOVE my school and my friends there. But it's so great to be home sometimes too. :)

stop complaining.

I hate complaining. I also hate negativity. I've been trying really hard for a while to really not complain about much. This can be a difficult thing in the world we live in today. All people ever do is complain about what the don't have. It's hard for us to focus on the good things in life, if there is even just one bad thing going on. God has given us so much, it's almost like we're slapping Him in the face if we never pay any attention to what He's given us. Plus, all I can think about when I complain is all of the people around the world that would die to be in my shoes with all the things I have. Basically what I'm trying to get at is next time you complain, really honestly think about it, and think of all the good things in life. Plus, it makes life a happier place to be. :)

wow.

So for starters, I'm sorry I haven't blogged in such a long time! I've been way too busy for my own good. Exhaustion is what it is...this is what I get for being so involved on campus and being a Biomed major. Haha. Oh well. I love it none the less. This weekend was a lot of fun. On Friday I went to a place called Rivermont Pizza with Kelsey and Amylynn, which is kind of a hole in the wall place, filled with hipsters...I felt like I was back home. Haha. We got this pizza called Molokai which had a bunch of new, random stuff on it. Twas good. I like trying new things. :) Then we just chilled all night. Later me, Mary, and Tony hung out in our room for awhile waiting for Mary's birthday. Then we continued to stay up later...I had been sleep deprived all week, and if you know me well, you know I get even crazier when I'm really tired...so me and Tony wrestled and beat each other up and basically made a lot of noise at 1 am...I sounded like I was drunk. Haha. It was funny. Saturday was Mary's birthday! So me, Mary, Amylynn, Tony, and Taylor went to breakfast brunch at Famous Anthony's! So cheap, yet so good! We went to the mall and shopped around for a bit afterwards. We then went to our friends house to start getting ready for the party I was throwing her that night. We had fun. Everyone dressed up as celebrities. I was Kat Von D, and I liked my costume much more than last time. My personal favorite was Sarah Palin, the guys from Anchorman, and Russel Brand. They kept character all night. Hysterical. We also all dance a lot a lot...we also got noise complaints...we didn't care. My friends still get a kick out of my "black girl" dance moves. ;) Me and Brian can break it down. Haha. It's quite funny actually. Today was church and homework day. Church was good. Homework is going to kill me. BUT. 5 days until I'm home for an entire 10 days! Hang out with me please and do crazy stuff. :) I'm soooo excited to see my best friend KIMBO GREENSHKA! :D I haven't seen her in SO long! Bahhhh!!!

love joint.

So, this is super late, but I absolutely loved retreat! It was so nice to be back at my home away from home, with some of my best friends, and worshipping/listening to sessions by them. I also actually really liked the fact that we had to sit with a random table every meal because it gave me the chance to get to know some new people. On Saturday I do have to say it was really quite odd having about five hours of free time...I haven't had that since high school. I didn't really even know what to do with myself. Can I be honest and say that I missed the games they forced us to play on high school retreats...I was never the "too cool to play this game" kid...in all honesty I loved them. I'm really quite competitive, and it gave me a chance to meet some new people. But, because we didn't have those games, I got to play hours of knock out with a bunch of guys and Elizabeth...and yes, they were surprised at how good we were. I also really loved all the sessions. I'm not going to point out everything I got from it because that would last forever and ever, but they were really, really good. I really liked the dance parties and doing the berney with everyone, definitely the dance move of the weekend. Haha. Waffle House was as always fun. Leaving CWR was really quite sad to me. As much as I love being here at Lynchburg, it was great to get away for a weekend and not have to worry about anything at all. Plus, it went by way to fast, and I wanted to just keep diving deep with the Lord. I felt myself get teary eyed leaving, partially because we left so abruptly. Weird not having buses. So weird. Haha. But it was a fabulous weekend, and basically I'm on fire for God now, thanks to this retreat. :)

new things.

After going to Career Advising, I am now a Biomed major....WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING?! And I thought Biology was going to kick my butt. Then I find out that Biomed would be better for getting into a Doctor's of Physical Therapy program. Holy. Cow. I've got to work so hard now. And now I'm getting so involved on campus...busy life. Here we go.

yes, even monday's can be good!

Today was great for being a Monday! Found out I got the job I applied/got an interview for at the Registrar Office on campus. It's only seven hours a week, which is perfect. Also, I was asked to do this thing with new people in lcf where I send out e-mails welcoming them, and also seeing if they want to meet up for lunch or coffee or whatever. I enjoy this very much! I also go to hang out in the lcf office with some friends, which was hysterical. My two classes were easy enough today as well. I went out to dinner with Jake and Elizabeth, which is always fun. I had a great workout tonight at the gym, and tomorrow I am going to die going up stairs and my legs are going to shake. Haha. Recently I've noticed just how busy I am going to be this semester. I'm excited because it's all fabulous stuff, but very time consuming! But, I know I can handle it all with my God looking out for me! Also, tonight after our workout, Mary and I were singing at the top of our lungs in the shower. It's the little things in life that make me happy. :)

first weekend back!

This weekend was SO much fun. The first weekend back definitely made me realize exactly how much I missed it here. On Friday me, Mary, Tony, Taylor, Nate, Kait, and Emily were planning on going to the movies, but we got there too late. So instead we went to Sweet Frog! Yes, we did get one here! :) Love! Then we went to Tommy's 21st birthday party. That was a ton of fun! There were so many people there, and in fact a majority of them were my friends, which was awesome. It was great to be with so many friends playing games and dancing! On Saturday I went on a lunch date to Stikfire with Amylynn and Mary, which was lovely. Later on, me, Nate, Tony, Taylor, Mary, and Kait went to Cici's (yes free drink for being in college) and to the dollar theater to see Due Date, which was hysterical. We then came back and watched He's Just Not That Into You and just hung out. It was really laid back, but so fun. Today I went to the first lcf service of the year, which was really, really good! I can't wait to dive deeper with God this semester! Afterwards, I went to a lunch meeting about being a leader for lcf next year. I feel really called to do this, so I hope I get it! After that was the little black dress party for sororities. It was cool to meet some of the girls in sororities, and hang out with my friends that were already in them. Later on, I went on a dinner date with Kait to Panera and then Starbuck's, which was really nice. Love her. Then me, Mary, Taylor, and Tony watched the football games and just hung out. I'm sorry this is so long, but I really just wanted to remember the jist of this weekend because it was SO good, and SO fun! I feel like I have finally made really, really good friends here. The friends that I can trust, and do crazy fun stuff with, and it makes me really excited! Because there's a difference between having friends, and having good friends. I love LC. :)

he's just not that into you.

Tonight I did many things, but the last thing I did was watch "He's Just Not That Into You" with a bunch of friends in my dorm room. And it's quite funny because I actually not only thought it was a good movie, but I got something out of it. Go watch it if you haven't yet, because it's quite good. But here's the thing...there was some lessons learned from this movie. The thing is if a guy likes you, he will try his hardest to be with you...he will try everything to make it happen. It's not about girls looking for all the "signs" or whatever. It's like girls try to dissect every little thing a guy does and twist it to be like "oh my goodness I think he might like me." And I guess I never really thought too much about that kind of stuff until when I watched it. It's not up to the girl to try to make the guy like her or anything like that. When it comes down to it, that guy is either going to make it happen and try to win you over, or he's just not that into you. Stop trying to make things that are not, because it will cause you less heartache in the end. It is not a girls responsibility to try to send cute texts or anything along those sorts...that's his job. Ladies, don't try to figure out if he likes you over stupid little "signs" or put so much effort into it if he's not doing anything. You deserve better, and there is someone out there for you. Remember, if he wants you, he will make it happen. Don't wait around forever for him to realize you're worth it...if he takes too long to realize that, he's a goner because you were perfect from the very beginning. Sorry if I bursted anyone's bubble tonight. Hahaha.